Reality creeps in, and couples start to have to work to meet each other’s How do we make sure that we meet these necessities? It can also help to think of what has made you feel most loved and appreciated in the past, whether it was a physical gesture, a gift, or a compliment.Once you figure out what you enjoy, it’s time to find your pain points. The next lesson introduces us to the five different love languages to help you understand your significant other on a deeper, more intimate level. We can be in the same room as our partner and still fail to actually ‘be’ with them because of our electronics. … The key to quality time is undivided attention. Power dynamics, life strategies, and owning your life.The Five Love Languages explains that we all express our love and affection in different ways (languages).About The Author: Gary Chapman is an American pastor and relationship counselor.The 5 Love Languages states that people express and feel loved in 5 different ways.If two people from two different love languages are together they can ruin their relationship by not making their partner feel loved.To fix the issue you should learn how your partner communicates and receives love and adjust accordingly.Words of affirmation communicate with words how much you love your partner.People whose primary love language is quality time will be deeply hurt by criticism and hurtful comments.People who have quality time as their main love language will value spending time with their partners and getting their full attention.Quality is the keyword here, which excludes activities such as watching TV together (TV gets your attention) or driving (the road gets much of the attention).Here’s how to express love in the quality time language:You will hurt people whose love language is quality time the most when you avoid spending time together.If your love language is gifts, you appreciate gifts and concrete symbols of love.Indeed, that’s what gifts stand for: a symbol of appreciation, a sign you are thinking of them and, of course, a symbol love. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful. Then, a week after receiving the feedback, she made specific requests of something he could do for her. Most languages have ways beyond words to express yourself. She took the information he provided and used it to create a plan of action. There are 5 different ways people give and show love. After around two years, however, those relationships based purely on romance will deteriorate. That's why every book is summarized in three lengths: Similarly, to find your partnerâs language, recall moments when your partner was upset or hurt by your actions or lack of action.The things you do to show love for your partner indicate a feeling that love is best expressed in those ways. It’s helpful to think of family relationships in childhood, because these shape the way we are as adults. By serving them in whatever capacity, they will feel super loved. Many couples believe they spend time together, but in reality, they simply happen to be existing separately in close proximity.Understanding exactly what type of quality time is important to your partner will help you understand how to fill their tank. We find these too vague to be satisfying. If you don’t understand how they best feel loved, then you’re probably going to end up in a struggling relationship where you both feel unloved.Expressing love in the relationships most important to you takes thoughtfulness and hard work, yet it’s beyond worth it.“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. Determining your love language is not always easy. What do they ask for the most? Ever feel a book rambles on, giving anecdotes that aren't useful? Cultivate a relationship that allows for open and honest communication. Then, with the help of your partner, discover what theirs is. In the area of love, it’s similar. For instance, if you compliment your partnerâs cleaning skills knowing it will make them clean more---so you donât have to---the act is disingenuous. Below is a preview of the Shortform book summary of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Are you ready to learn how to grow closer to the people you love most? Then love becomes work to keep it alive as we start seeing the “quirks” of … “The 5 Love Languages Summary” Poets got it all wrong! Everyone will always have an emotional need for love, from childhood all the way through adulthood. Only then can we give encouragement. But he’s certainly a man who puts his money where his mouth is. And even science backs this. Good summary!